When Evil Demons Have Kids, Season 2
by Ididntdoit07
Summary: AU. NarakuSesshomaru...they already have a family and things can only get worse when Sesshomaru thinks he's getting old and when Naraku starts to teach 7th grade science...but what happens when they're transported back to midevil times?
1. Season 2

this is When Evil Demons Have Kids, Season 2! (AU.) It's in a new format that's easier to follow, and still humor is there on the loose...it might get a bit dramatic, but right back to humor then...

**Disclaimer: I only own Kare, Kichiro, Sydney and Jimmy...everyone else Rumiko Takahashi owns...and the three that I own are very innocent...right...? (cough, Jimmy, cough.)**

but here is some information **YOU NEED TO KNOW! **

Jimmy is a weapon sporting evil monkey owned by Rin who loves to scare the crap out of Naraku, like chasing him down the street.

Sydney was a bitch that Sesshomaru married years before he and Naraku knew eachother. He went missing on their honeymoon and Sydney was destined to find him...the night Naraku went into labor, she came along and triggered it with Naraku's anger. Sydney gave into the fact that Sesshomaru loved Naraku more than her and she now helps out at their house with the kids, on the search for hot guys 24/7. Picture Paris Hitlon as her.

Kare and Kichiro are Naraku and Sesshomaru's twins. Kare is adventuroushas blonde and curly hair with blue streaks across her cheeks and her eyes are amber. Kichiro is young and shy...he looks like Inuyasha except his hair is black and his dog-ears are black too...he almost died during birth. they are now 5 years old.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED SO FAR:

Kikyo is now at a college in the USA where she can learn more about science...she just found an awesome guy which she immediately fell in love with...his name...? Suikotsu.

Kagome and Inuyasha are married...she is now pregnant with their first child.

Miroku and Sango are engaged...

The Inu-Gang have moved to Hawaii.

It's been five years since last season...

**

* * *

When Evil Demons Have Kids: Season 2**

**PG-14**

**warnings: slash, mpreg (that was before.) and language.**

* * *

Hakudoushi: (whispering.) Look at this, dude! (Holds up a Mad Magazine to Kohaku.)

Kohaku: What is it?

Hakudoushi: I knew Clio was lying about loving him!

Kohaku: Loving who?

Hakudoushi: Shhh!

Sesshomaru: (turns around.) Will I have to send you three to detention?

Kohaku: (whispers.) What the hell? Three? It's only us!

Hakudoushi: And Jimmy.

Kagura: Since when did you become our teacher?

Sesshomaru: Since when did you become my bitch?

Kagura: Oh, Sesshomaru! Take me! (glomps him)

Kouga: (pops in wearing a cheerleader outfit.) Give me a B! Give me a L! Give me an A! Give me an N! Give me a– wait a minute...black isn't spelled that way...oh well. (Winds up pom-poms, cheers.) What does that spell? Ooh...that ryhmes...BLACK MAIL! HAHAHAHA!

Sesshomaru and Kagura: (pause after making out.) Whoa.

(Cut to a bridge.)

Naraku: (Standing on top of it, looking down, then falls off.)

* * *

"Ho– my God!" Naraku shot up in bed, looking around, seeing he was in the same room he went to sleep in. He looked to his left and saw Sesshomaru sleeping very peacefully, occasionally twitching his nose or snorting. Sometimes he even completely shook his head making a strange gurgling sound from inside his throat that sounded like he was snoring. Naraku's hair was a mess; stray hair stuck out of his loose pony tail and his bangs were wet with cold sweat.

"A dream...just...a dream. When did I ever start dreaming?" Naraku asked himself, sort of whispering not wanting to wake his lover. But it was too late. Sesshomaru jerked his head up and pointed his finger to their door, with his eyes still closed, saying,

"The category is music."

And Sesshomaru fell back onto the pillows sound asleep. Naraku stared at the dog demon and twitched. "I think I'm gonna go check on Kare and Kichiro..." he trailed off as he stared to get out of bed, slowly letting his feet touch the floor. After that, he began to crawl on the floor towards the door.

A ray of light was visible underneath the door, signaling that someone else in the house was awake. With a quick leap, Naraku jumped up, swinging the door open, seeing the refrigerator door open in the kitchen. "Who's there?" he asked, grabbing the closest thing in sight: a candle stick which he held out in defense.

But, he got no reply, which made him angry and Naraku growled, slowly walking around the island in the kitchen foyer. He stood completely still when he saw Jimmy the monkey getting a beer out of the refrigerator. Jimmy turned to stare at Naraku and put on his most innocent look with his lower lip trembling.

"No, Jimmy. This is the fifth time this week you've gotten up wanting to get a beer. You're going to wet your– Holy shit, I sound like a mother."

Jimmy cackled evilly and made his famous escape. The monkey jumped up and grabbed the curtain from the windows, and swung from that to the doorknob to Abi and Kagura's room, twisting it, and slipping inside, shutting the door behind him. Naraku sighed deeply. "That is one smart monkey..."

He slowly creeped into the room down the hall to see the lights still on in the room. Naraku growled under his breath and walked straight towards that room. He swung the door open and found Hakudoushi listening to hard rock and Kohaku trying to go to sleep. Naraku looked at his watch: It was about 3 O'clock in the morning. "Hey, get to bed. You have a test tomorrow." he said very wearily.

"Naraku, what's up? You sound like you did after you had Kichiro."

Naraku just glared at the boy and shut the door. Inside the room, Hakudoushi cackled evilly and went back to mouthing the words to hard rock.

Outside the door, Naraku already opened the door to the twins' room. The lights were darkly off and he could barely see anything even a foot in front of him. So, he decided to take the lightest steps, not wanting to trip over anything or managing to wake the kids. Naraku was so concentrated on the children that he didn't see a little table in his way. And of course, he tripped over it, making it fall down and make a huge crashing sound.

"Oh, shit." Naraku muttered under his breath immediately looking to their beds. Kare and Kichiro were still sound asleep. "Those kids are literally dead..." he remarked, surprised that the sound didn't wake them. Slowly, he crawled over to their little beds and managed to sit in between them.

Kare's golden wavy locks of hair covered her face and pointed ears while the blue streaks across her cheeks were clearly visible on her pale face. Kichiro had his little dog ears covered in a backwards baseball cap while his black hair tangled in the back.

Naraku sighed deeply. "And to think that you two were born about five years ago...," He shook his head and rubbed his hand over Kare's little arm. "It only felt like you were born yesterday too..." he thought some more and then realized something. "And only yesterday you got off of bottles..."

He cringed at the thought. "It took Kikyo forever to realize that I'm not like a cow; I cant be milked." At that he completely shuddered. "Oh, God...that still gives me nightmares..."

* * *

WEDHK

* * *

Sesshomaru danced around the kitchen singing to himself, swinging a beer in one hand. "I feel pretty, oh, so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and...GAY!" He attracted the attention of Sydney who was in the middle of eating lunch.

"Sesshy, it you keep doing that you're going to make yourself sick."

"You're not my mother."

Sydney sighed...she knew she would never win against the dog demon's strong willed personality. "Whatever...keep doing what you want, but when you vomit, don't blame me." she said in a singing tone.

"I wont...I'll blame..."

Kare walked into the room, having a chocolate bar hanging out of her chocolate covered mouth. Sesshomaru presented his hands to his daughter and exclaimed. "I'll blame her!"

Kare looked very confused and then swallowed a bit of the chocolate, and at the same time saying: "What, Daddy?"

Sesshomaru saw Kichiro walk in after her, having toilet paper cover half of his body. "Oh...uh...nevermind..."

* * *

Hakudoushi was again asleep in class, drooling all over his science text-book. Kohaku, who sat next to him occasionally threw spit balls at him. "And how are these genes the same?" There was a question asked from the teacher and the major geek in the class raised her hand.

The teacher called on her. She opened her mouth to speak and then began her major speech. "Well, Mr. Hitomi, the people with these genes might've been traced down from their family ties and..."

She continued, making even Naraku very bored with her answer and he interrupted her. "Uh... Chelsea...um...try to make your answer in one sentence please..." then he caught glimpse of Hakudoushi. He grabbed his ruler, walked calmly over to the desk and smiled at the sleeping boy.

The other students knew what was going to happen next. Naraku raised the ruler and slammed it down on Hakudoushi's desk, making the boy wake with a bloody murder scream. Naraku screamed back at Hakudoushi. "HEY! I told you to go to bed last night! But you didn't listen!"

Hakudoushi shook... 'Oh, how he hated to piss his father/teacher off. "M'...sorry?"

"Oh, well see about sorry after Kare dumps her bucket on you."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hakudoushi screamed for about a minute until the bell rang to switch classes.

Right as the kids started to pour from the classrooms, one kid, which looked about fifteen years old and chubby, stopped right in front of Naraku, looking up at him. "Uh...Mr. Hitomi?"

"What?"

The boy studdered and then bounced on his heels, looking down at the ground. "I uh...is there...is there anyway that...my grade could move up by the end of this quarter?"

Naraku had no idea what this boy wanted, so he just shrugged. "Go to your next class, Harry."

The boy shrugged too and walked out...

Naraku was left very confused and then sat down at his desk... "Why did I even pick this job?"

* * *

so...how'd I do? miss WEDHK? If you want the ending to the first season, email me. I'll send it to you.

that's this chapter...so... please R&R!

-Ididntdoit07


	2. Of Seabiscuit and Basketballs

HI, it's me again! Guess what! I got to go to the GREEN DAY: AMERICAN IDIOT CONCERT HERE IN ATLANTA! WHOOT! Billie mooned the audience twice. My mom was like, O.O. It kicked major ass!

**_Disclaimer: I dont own Inuyasha, or Green Day...but I DO own Kare, Kichiro, Sydney, and Jimmy, and tickets to the Green Day concert. _**

**Thanks to my reviewers: **

**WritingWoman: **You like Jimmy? I got the idea of his name from Green Day's song, St.Jimmy. I luv that song to pieces.

**Sesshy is sexii: **hey, havent talked to you in a while. neato...a sess/naraku concept...that pairing always rocks.

**Malicious12: **how'd you like the first season? Okay? Sucked? Was it good? Did you think Sydney was a bi-otch? Heh, i admit she is.

* * *

It was a normal day in the meadow and everyone was happy and prancing around. Little elves danced around singing with the birds and butterflies. The sun was out, and unicorns pranced in its rays! Flowers of every color bloomed away in the soft green (non-itching) grass. Pixies, fairies, and gnomes accompanied the elves in their dance. And whenever those elves needed a helping hand, the rabbits, deer, and little animals helped! And so the little elf pranced around the meadow an–!

If you want to hear about the tales of little elves and singing flowers, go to the nearest kiddie section in the library. This is a story with drama, DEATH, and mpreg... I suggest you turn back now before you read any of this if you don't like this topic. This story will not have a happy ending, so brace yourself.

Lets get on with it, shall we?

It was a normal day at school in Meadow High where the teachers came from ages 22 to 1000. The best but most strict teacher was----!

_**It's not too late to go back to the butterflies!**_

—young, evil, sexy, and--

_**Look! A rainbow!**_

A 'mother' of about eight children and is married to one of the cutest guys ever. That guy is named Sesshomaru, a drunken 233 year old (bear with me, he is not 17...he's a dog-demon! He lived those 50 years while Inu was stuck that that tree!) who makes a living by seeing how drunk he can get. I live with them in a large house with many other people. There's Abi, Kikyo, Jaken, Rin, Jimmy, and then there's me. Everyone loves me. Everyone brushes my long reddish orange hair and they kiss me every night.

It you haven't guessed, my name is Entie...and...well, this is my story!

Eeeh! (That beeping noise everyone puts when you're wrong about something.) I was wrong. It's not my story, I just like saying that. Well, since noone else could at the moment, I'm your narrator...and– Yes, there is a narrator and he goes by the name of...ME!

Oh! It's starting...

**

* * *

**

**When Evil Demons Have Kids: Season 2, **

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Fog clung to the thick glass outside the shower door as the humming and singing of a young man was heard. "There's Gilligan, and Skipper too! The millionaire and his wife! The movie starrrrrr, the Professor and Mary-Annnnnnnnnn! Here on Gilligan's Isleeeeeeeee!"

Knock, knock, knock!

"Who's there?" The silver haired man asked, peeking out of the fogging shower. After he asked, he already knew who it was.

"Ima."

"'Ima' who?"

"I'm a' not playing knock-knock jokes tonight!" The voice repeated a line from Ace Ventura.

Sesshomaru sighed deeply, grabbing a towel from the rack, stepping out of the shower. Slowly he wrapped the towel around his waist. He was still dripping as he opened the door to come face-to-face with his husband. "Guess what!" Sesshomaru demanded.

"What?" Naraku asked, leaning on the bathroom door, admiring the dog-demon's beef. Sesshomaru grabbed the hanyou's shoulders and swung him near the shower.

"I gotta boner!"

Naraku rolled his eyes; What was new these days? Sesshomaru ripped the towel off of his waist, revealing his...y'know. Naraku immediately turned around, hiding his eyes. "Sesshomaru... I really worry about you."

"Come on, take a look!" Sesshomaru pleaded, hugging Naraku around the chest. "Noone's watching..." He somewhat sung. "And besides...we haven't done it in a while, so...I'm a' bit horny...and I want another baby."

Naraku immediately twisted around to face Sesshomaru. "No, no, no, Sesshomaru...we talked about this three weeks ago...no more children. We already have Kagura, Kanna, Rin, Kare, Kichiro, Akago, Hakudoushi, and Kohaku. I don't think we need anymore...and besides I'm aboutsixty now."

"So, it's been a few years. You still look the same, and you're a half-demon. You don't have to worry about being old for another thirty years...and besides, you're considered a toddler next to me." Sesshomaru said, leaning in, kissing the crook of his husband's neck. Naraku moaned, turning away from the dog-demon.

"I know, but...Kare and Kichi just turned five."

Sesshomaru then suddenly wrapped his arms around Naraku's waist, pulling him into the running shower. Naraku screamed and Sesshomaru chuckled as he closed the shower door, trapping both him and his husband in the running hot water.

The first kiss was more of a dog slobber from 'you-know-who.' Bottles of shampoo and conditioner were thrown off of the little shelves, along with a soap bar. Bubbles began to form in the drain and now, Sesshomaru and Naraku were soaking.

Before they knew it, they were both undressed, still soaking as they laid on their king-sized bed. Sesshomaru was on top of Naraku, breathing on his husband's neck. Naraku was panting and sweat was now mixed with the shower water.

"Oh, sweetie..." Naraku said in mock amusement and then was pulled into another kiss by the dog-demon. Suddenly, he rolled over, making Sesshomaru be on the bottom this time. "I win."

Sesshomaru smirked and then bucked his hips against his husband's stomach. Naraku shook his head, holding up one finger. "Ah-ah. Not yet..." He slowly got off of the bed and made his way to the closet, opening up the door, searching through all this other stuff.

Sesshomaru laid back on the pillows, sighing deeply. Naraku then pulled out a black leather whip. The dog demon whipped his head up and then sat on his knees, patting his legs. "Get over here, Seabiscuit!"

Naraku licked the tip of the long whip, letting the rest of it slide through his lips and stared lustfully into Sesshomaru's eyes. "Alright, Mr. Jockey."

* * *

**_4 hours later..._**

Kohaku, Hakudoushi, Kare, and Kichiro were playing outside with a basketball, that is until it slipped away from Kohaku's grip when Kare snatched it. Hakudoushi and Kohaku both stood with hands on their hips staring at their little sister.

"Give it, Kar'." Hakudoushi said, motioning a hand towards himself, but Kare refused as a normal, stubborn five year old would.

Kichiro got off of his lazy ass and walked over to his older sister and grabbed the ball. (This is all my great friend's idea.) And he rolled it down the driveway, looking all starry eyed. "Be freeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He squealed as the orange basketball moved down the driveway, and into the street.

Hakudoushi, Kohaku, and Kare were left speechless.

In the middle of 'The Roll of the Great Ball of House 666', a beat up, old SUV drove by and squashed it, making a HUGE popping noise.

There were two minutes of complete silence until Naraku walked out of the house, wearing something like Billie-Joe-Armstrong from Green Day would wear. (Say...a sleeveless black vest thing with red tie and black pants?) He stared at the site and then looked to Kichiro.

The little dog-demon sniffled a cry and then burst into tears. And when Sesshomaru stepped out of the beat up SUV, he looked behind the car and saw a little form of what was once a basketball. "Whoops." He said.

Kichiro then screamed, at the top of his lungs. "Daddy killed him!"

And he ran all the way to the house, and stopped, looking up to Naraku. "Hi Billie." ( I had to put that in there.)

And Naraku just twitched.

* * *

THE END of this chapter.

omg, I still cant get over Green Day at the moment, i should change my name to StJimmyluvr, or somethin' like that, but no.

oh well. KICHIRO ROCKS! That's what I wouldda done, and I also had GILLIGAN'S ISLE theme song stuck in my head.

love it? Hate it? Still want 1st season? Please R&R!


	3. Uh Oh

**chapter 3 of WEDHK season 2**

omg, it's been soooo long! I'm, sorry, but i just haven't been in the writing mood lately cause my horse is gone, i got another one but she's crazy, my grandpa got ran over by a car, my uncle died, i got 2 demerits and detentions, my grades are falling again, and my mom is having a mental breakdown, and my sister and I might be getting the flu(even though i got 2 shots about a week ago), so my life hasn't been great. but, I'm back again and the only time i can really update my stories are at school...and stuff like that. But, everything is getting better and I'm back on track with the story updating and getting over writer's block. This chapter coming up like now is in a different world...seriously. I'm not joking. And I've been writing many other stories at the moment and my head is full of ideas, but i cant put them down on paper...I have that kind of problem. Okay, over with the background information, this isn't science class! And still the first season is welcome to any of you, just email me at michelleonspirit at aol dot com. (if i put the address, it will X it out)

**disclaimer: Dont own any of the characters from inuyasha, but I do own Jimmy the monkey, the soldiers, Sydney, Kare and Kichiro, and...I think that's it.**

**Thanks to Reviewers: **

**WritingWoman: **you're psychotic. But aren't we all? Yeah, i particularly liked the seabiscuit part even though i thought of it like a year ago, and my friend helped me with the basketball thing, it was her idea!

**Sesshy is sexii: **yeah, i was a little disturbed myself, but ever since watching reproduction videos and stuff like that in health, everything is just basic. and i dont think you sent me that email yet! (LOL.) XD

**hahahanyou: **interesting screen name. Glad you thought it was funny, and I updated! something I haven't done in like...forever.

* * *

"Kikyo...? Kikyo...? Anyone seen Kikyo?" Sydney called, walking through the large, empty house. "Hello...? Anyone th--?" suddenly, the ground underneath her gave way and she fell all the way down through one of the tiles leading to a tunnel. And all that time, she screamed bloody murder as **_if_** rabid badgers were brutally attacking and fiercely biting at her. It was a sad sight, indeed...

BOM!

She fell on her but at the bottom of the basement in the house. She whipped her blonde head around for any life forms of any sort, and whimpered as she heard a few of those almost transparent sounds of water dripping onto the floor like in a horror movie, except this isn't a movie, it's a fiction, and half of these people are original characters. Okay, back with the story. Yeah, so, she heard those water dripping sounds and practically freaked.

"An...Anyone there...?" Sydney asked, pulling herself up by the help of something slimy and strangely weird. (Wait...what?) Okay, lets just say she's in a weird basement with rotting and slimy green stuff, savvy? Then, someone came around one of the corners in the room and Sydney once again screamed bloody murder. Except bloodier.

"Oh, hi, Sydney! Come join us!" Kikyo waved, also walking quickly to Sydney's frozen state. She looked as if she had been petrified by that big snake in Harry Potter but she whimpered and moved her eyes around... a bit. She stood on one leg, and the other was brought up to her waist and both her arms were stuck at a sign language in the air.

"Eh...?" Sydney made a sound.

"Yeah, it's me, Abi, Kagura, Kanna, Jimmy, Kichiro, and Kare!"

"sesjksoiaekdskla?"

"No, noone's gonna hurt you."

"adhjkehejeaimeeee?"

Kikyo laughed. "No, Jimmy only attacks Naraku, he wont hurt you."

"uramohsses s'erehw?"

"Sesshomaru's somewhere the author forgot, I think he's at the bar with the wolves."

* * *

Cut to Sesshomaru and wolves at bar.

Sesshomaru is completely drunk along with Ginta, Hakkaku, Ayame, and Kouga. They're all sitting at the bar. Duh. And each have like five bottles of empty beer in front of them. Sesshomaru is the first one to speak, but he's repeating lines from a soap opera he saw a long time ago, and he's wearing only teddy bear boxers. The rest are half dressed in crappy stuff.

"And tho, Amanda thaid that tthhhe didn't like Tom'thss hair! And tho he wathhh like, 'Well, bitthh! You wanna com'a'downnnnn wit me to da hhhair thor? Andthe wathhh like 'Uh...No! I tink you needta get uh hair doooo! and he watthhh like 'thure, but I...'" (lisp...yeah. I had one for a long time before.)

* * *

"Hey, Abi, Kare, Kichiro, Kagura, Kanna!" Sydney waved to them all, who sat around a fire with cards in their hands. Jimmy popped up from behind a trashcan and screamed at the girl, pointing madly...and around him was every card of the ACE. (my grammer sucks.) "And, Jimmy." the monkey calmed down easily and gathered up all his winning cards, looking around suspiciously.

Kichiro bursted out into tears at the sight of Sydney...he hated the look of that girl...ever since the start; He had a feeling she was some type of space alien from America. (did I spell America right? thats sad because I live in America...) Kare raised her fist and made a peace sign at the much more older woman. Kanna stared at Sydney, which just creeped her out, Kagura belched, and Abi made a weak smile, making Kichiro scream like a little girl, turn white like a half decayed corpse (like naraku's parents), and faint.

Kikyo stood behind the younger girl and sat her and herself down on a log. (logs, inside! its true. i did that with some friends once inside her basement and made a camp/bonfire thing.) A few hours passed and they just played cards, Jimmy won, Sydney protested, and was chased with a bazooka, and that's not the gum. Now, they were talking about many things...

"You know, guys? That would be cool if we had a thing to transport people to different places in time, or stuff." Kanna said, actually surprising some of the people in the room. Kikyo gagged on a cup of coffee and started to cough like an asthmatic.

"Y...You (cough) mean a time machine?"

"Yeah."

"I wanna show you guys something." Kikyo wiped her mouth with her turquoise doctor gi thing and stood, walking over to a dark place in the basement.

"Be careful!" Sydney called, breaking down into hysterics. Obviously, she hadn't really gotten used to the house or the crazy people in it. Even though it's been 5 years...

WOOSH!

Kikyo tore off a large, dusty, sheet over something big and arched, making the sound of the Phantom of the Opera start behind her. She turned evil and her face got black as she turned to face you. Yes I mean you. Not your sister or uncle or someone like that...I mean you. "WRONG MUSIC!" she screamed. Then, the Phantom of the Opera music disappeared and the happy song from the Tellitubbies popped up. She glared at you.

"Pick a darn evil music!"

Okay, so then an evil organ sound was heard. Under the sheet was a large arch of aluminum and pink lights, which were off. There were at least a hundred buttons on it and a small staircase leading into the middle of the arch. It looked like a piece of crap from the war. "This is what I call a transporter-device-of-molecular-structure-transferred-into-tiny-particles-and-spaced-into-a-different-time. Other wise known as my _Time Transporter45,000!" _

"What happened to the other 44,000?" Abi asked with a long belch. Everyone looked to Kikyo. The former priestess was speechless.

"Um..."

"You broke them, didn't you?" Jimmy asked, with a low manly voice like Clint Eastwood's, pointing to her. Kikyo and the rest turned to stare at the monkey. He shrugged. "What?"

"Well, anyways..." Kikyo began again. "This machine can transform our bodies into tiny particles of atoms, electrons, protons, and neutrons, or we can call them alpha particles. But, just like in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, we are transferred into small bits and pieces and are put into a different time or world at our normal size. Though, I dont know how we can get back."

Everyone groaned loudly. Abi spoke up again. "How do we get to another time?"

"Well, you can either walk through the portal, when it's on, or we can set it and send someone at anytime, anyplace, and not send other people!"

"Hmm..." everyone registered that idea in their head...

* * *

**_Two hours later... (i feel like one of those narrators)_**

"_**sigh **_Finally school's over for the week." Naraku groaned as he set at least 3 backpacks on the kitchen counter. Each of them belonged to Hakudoushi, Kohaku, and Rin, but he had the stupid privilege to bring them in...doncha hate when that happens? There were a few screams and stomping around the house when every kid that lived in the house ran around screaming bloody murder because of some unknown reason. The back door to the large house opened with a SWOOSH and BANG as it hit the wall. Sesshomaru stepped into the house, more stable than before.

"Hey, come out here! You wont believe what Kar' and Ki'are doing!" The dog demon screamed running up to his husband. (that sounds so weird.)

Naraku looked up from sitting on the counter. "Besides walking on the ceilings and trying to eat Entie?"

"NO! Kare is playing with the ants again!"

* * *

The little blonde (dont ask) child had her hand once again stuck down into the strangely built dirt home that belonged to the fire ants right next to Entie's stall. She made no signs of pain or fear as the ants crawled up her arm in lines. Kare giggled. Behind her stood her younger brother by 3 hours (i think, i dont remember) Kichiro. He shook with fear and both his fists were stuck up his teeth as he gnawed on them from his 24/7 nervousness. "Be careful, Kare!"

"Yeah, yeah." She turned to face him and scowled.

WAY behind the both of them came Sesshomaru and Naraku. They both stared in disbelief at their children. The ants crawling up Kare's arm weren't biting her or even trying to make any harm to the blonde curled girl. Instead, there was a zoom in of the ants upon her skin and they were kissing her! Kichiro stood in awe.

"Oooh! I wanna try!" He shoved his hand down in the dirt, making Kare back up and scream. Kichiro quickly retrieved his hand and screamed and cried as the ants rabidly bit and stung him. He ran back and fourth past Sesshomaru and Naraku's eyes until the hanyou finally spoke.

"I'll get the bena..." He began but suddenly found the house...GONE. "...drill." Instead, trees surrounded him and it looked a lot like the feudal era from before everything got high-tech. (lol, remember the 1st season's summary?) "Hey, Sesshomaru, where'd the house...go...?" Naraku twisted around and found himself alone in this sudden change of environment. "Sessh...?"

"Ah haaaaaaa!" There was a noise from far away, but that's all Naraku heard before...

Suddenly, a strange shadow crossed his vision and then the only thing he saw left before blackness was the backside of a frying pan.

* * *

**Same time, but with Sesshomaru**

"Naraku? Where'd you go...?" Sesshomaru asked the environment made up of the trees and grass and birds that occasionally flew out of the woods. "Kare...? Kichiro...? Entie...?" He looked under stones, holes, and found a Holy Grail but threw it away. "Jimmy?" Suddenly, he straightened up and tapped his temple. "You guys better not be playing a prank on me!"

Then, there was a soft chirping/squeaking noise from behind him. Sesshomaru narrowed his already narrow eyes and suddenly twisted around, screaming: "Ah haaaaaaaa!" He pointed at a chipmunk which looked athim like he was high...which he sort of was. The small rodent dropped it's nuts and just stared with the occasional eye twitching and ears switching positions. "Oh. Sorry." Sesshomaru stood up casually and was about to walk away when the little rodent ran up to the dog demon and squeaked.

"What?"

Squeak, squeak, squeakedy.

"The princess is in trouble!"

The chipmunk slapped his forehead and then pointed behind Sesshomaru.

"Ohhhh, you meant to say there was a big scary thing behind me with a frying pan, eh?"

KONGGG!

(crumpling noise.)

* * *

okay...i was hyper and stuff. so please review, and the 1st season is still available! love it? hate it? please review, and for those who have already read the 1st season, tell me how you thought it was!


	4. My Beloved

**When Evil Demons Have Kids Season 2**

YAY! I think it's the 4th chapter! YES.

**disclaimer: I dont own anyone except some of the village people...i guess. **

* * *

A shadowy figure loomed over the hanyou and the other demon and humans in awe. The shadow had never seen so much beauty in one while sleeping. There were five of them; A strange silver haired man, a raven haired man, a boy with his hair in a pony tail, another boy with long lavender hair, and a strange looking horse lying next to them. All were unconscious.

Then the one with the ponytail snorted, twitched, and went back to his peaceful slumber. The shadow couldn't tell if the older ones were men or women...their hair was so damn long!

"Who are..."

The shadow man asked himself, and jumped off his horse. A long, red velvet cape followed his body and a silvery gold crown was atop his dirty blonde head. He inched closer to the bodies and poked one of them. He got no reaction. Wait--

_SNORT. _

He earned a 'snort' from the one with the lavender hair and twitched. "Where has my beloved gone t...?"

He had a tendency to trail off as he just did when he saw one of them, whose face looked like someone he knew. Quickly, he picked the suspicious character up and onto his horse, and yelled behind him to a group of horsemen that had appeared out of the forest (nowhere) to their boss.

"Take the stallion, and the rest of them! Do what you want with them!" For a minute, horsemen cheered, but that was quieted when their master spoke again.

"On second thought, give them to the peasants! They'll know what to do..."

The horsemen groaned, but obeyed as their master galloped off towards his kingdom.

* * *

"Are you hungry? Or are you thirsty?"

"...huh...?"

"You are in my bed chambers, do you want anything to suit your tastes?" It was a British accent, or more of... earlier times.

"Why are you talking like this, Sessho..." He trailed off as his eyes opened and he came face to face with a rather handsome blonde haired man with twinkling green eyes. _Oh, my GOD, he's hot. _Naraku thought as he stared at the strangely dressed being. "Who are you?"

"That should be my question." The blonde stood straight and placed his hands on his velvet covered hips. "I found you out in the middle of nowhere, so I brought you home. Can you remember anything?"

"J-just that I was hit on the back of the head with something-- you're avoiding the subject. Who are you?" Naraku asked, rubbing the back of his head. The blonde man inched close to the hanyou and narrowed his gaze.

"What is your duty?"

"Uh..." Deciding not to mess with such an oddly clothed character, Naraku answered.

"I'm a... science teacher at my..._cousin's_ school."

"School?"

"You don't know what a school is?"

"I have never heard of such a strange place of that of which you speak. Where are you from?"

"Well, I was from Japan, but my family kind of moved to the United States cause of our neighbors--hey... who _are _you?" The blonde sighed and took off his crown, bowing down.

"My name is Arthur." Naraku nodded, finally getting to know the man's name, but he continued. "Son of King Uther. My full name is King Arthur Pendragon." Naraku coughed up a bunch of water he was drinking at the moment and stared at the young King. "My father died two years ago, so that made me heir to the throne. Ever since my Gwenivere passed away and my sister Morgan Le Fay was stabbed to death, I have been left alone with nobody to care for... And you are?"

"Everyone calls me Naraku..." he stopped suddenly, realizing that nobody he knew was there. "Where's Sesshomaru...?

The King smirked.

* * *

"FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME, I AM NOT A WITCH!"

Sesshomaru screamed down at the village people that had him tied to a steak with branches thrown all over. "All I did was show you this really cool lighter! It's something from the 21st century, THE 21st CENTURY! I don't have powers to do anything!" He yelled again at the people that mobbed around him.

"Kill the witch!" One old woman with no teeth managed.

"Burn him!"

"Stab him!"

"Free him!" Sesshomaru added to the yells. Everyone stared at him as it became silent. "Well, it was worth a try..." He muttered as the people began to chant again.

"Hey! Have you noticed that I don't have boobs yet?" He asked, looking down to his muscular chest. "That means I am not a witch!"

"And how do we believe you?" A rugged man asked, walking up to the steak Sesshomaru was tied to.

"Take off my shirt."

Everyone gasped, and one specific woman said to her friend. "He did not say that!"

"I think he did!"

"Do what the prisoner wants!"

A guard screamed down from a high part in the castel's courtyard. The villagers shrugged and one man did indeed ripped Sesshomaru's shirt off. The dog demon did not seem pleased as his only shirt was destroyed. A few of the widows and village women stared at his oh, so marvelous body in awe.

"He's a warlock!" One old woman screamed again. Sesshomaru's amber eyes narrowed in an upset defeat. "Drown him!" She chanted. "See if he'll drown! It will prove it once and for all."

There were sudden screams from behind the mob and one that rang a bell in Sesshomaru's ears. "Let him go!" Was one of the little voices. And then another.

"Dad!" The crowd separated into two groups as they made an aisle for two other prisoners to walk forward. Kohaku and Hakudoushi! Sesshomaru's eyes widened and he struggled against the pole.

"Kohaku! Hakudoushi!" He screamed at his children in surprise. They both stared up at him smiling, but Hakudoushi's turned to a frown.

"Why did you say 'Kohaku' first? Don't you love me too?" He asked, whimpering.

"Uh…." Sesshomaru's words were quavered.

"Whoa, dude!" Kohaku exclaimed, jerking away from the man that held him. "Dude, this is just like Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

"No way, dude!" Hakudoushi looked surprised as he suddenly forgot about what Sesshomaru said. "It IS just like Monty Python and the Holy Grail!" They both looked around and realized they were in some type of mid-evil village.

"No, wait! Maybe we're in that movie, Black Night or something!" Kohaku suggested.

"Or maybe Lord of the Rings!" Hakudoushi added.

"Or maybe Merlin!"

Suddenly, the crowd backed away as a man with shoulder length hair rode in on a gray steed. Everyone was quieted as he spoke with his manly voice. "Did somebody call my name?" He asked looking around confused. Kohaku and Hakudoushi both hugged each other.

"We are in Merlin!"

Sam Neil—I mean 'Merlin' seemed more confused. "How are you two in me?"

"It is him!" They squealed.

A village man looked up to this Merlin. "Go home, Merlin. King Arthur doesn't need you yet."

With a sad look upon his face, Merlin turned his horse and galloped away.

"King Arthur?" Sesshomaru asked, somehow breaking free of the pole.

"Ruler of this land." The same man answered, not noticing the freed demon. "He was saddened by the death of his wife and the imprisonment of his sister. The only thing he has left of a family is his nephew, which wishes to kill him."

"Well, good family ties I guess…" Sesshomaru muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"King Arthur, I have a question for you."

"Anything, my love."

"What century is it?"

"Why, tis the 13th, don't you remember?"

"13th century…" Naraku repeated in astonishment. "How the hell did this happen?"

* * *

end of chapter 4. tell me how it was and correct me if i made any mistakes in history!

-Ididntdoit07


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